3 Reasons Why the Waffle Taco Will Fail in SA

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Go away Waffle Taco (Cat hissing sound here) (Courtesy)

Sigh. I had hoped this breakfast abomination would stay in California where it was first tested last year. But, no, the Waffle Taco will hit nationwide Taco Bells by month's end. By March 27, San Antonio Taco Bells will be equipped with weirdly shaped sausages and even stranger waffle shells. Let's not make this a thing, SA. Let's drive this bastardized taco back to its West Coast shores.

Even so, marketing will surely amp up in the next few weeks. Thin, fun-loving, ultra-gorgeous teens will pimp out the Waffle Taco and its buddies, the AM Crunch Wrap and the AM Grilled Taco, but I'm pretty sure we're not going to fall for it in the Alamo City. Here's why:

  • BREAKFAST TACOS ARE THE REAL DEAL. I'm sorry for the use of caps, but how often do folks wake up thinking, "No, I don't feel like visiting my local taqueria on my way to work. Instead, I'm driving to Taco Bell to have some dreary-eyed employee make me a Waffle Taco." Personally, I'm not ditching the newly relocated Taqueria Chapala Jalisco in favor of this taco disaster.
  • Wendy's already failed at breakfast. Mind you, they were serving less gimmicky eats, but the concept stands. The Wendy's experiment failed because people were "moving too little, too late." The menu was a mix of oatmeal and breakfast sandwiches too similar to Starbucks to make a difference in customer trends.

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The Roscoe with waffles, egg, chicken and bacon from Torchy's on the right. (Courtesy)

  • While we do tend to steer toward gimmicky eats (see everything-on-a-stick during Fiesta), there's something extremely perverse about enjoying a rubbery tortilla encasing scrambled eggs, hash browns, cheese and bacon or sausage on a Wednesday morning. We like to keep it simple at breakfast...the craziest order I've ever seen was likely at Rolando's off Hildebrand, but how often do you find a taco the size of your head?

Listen, I'm not opposed to Waffle Tacos, I had something similar at Torchy's in Austin during South by Southwest last year. Hell, I recreated the Swanson breakfast sandwich made famous by the Chicago Bagel Authority during Single Awareness Day in 2013. Sure, I'll forgive the handful of San Antonians that try the Waffle Taco and the other two Horsemen of the Foodpocalypse, but making it a habit, which Taco B is hoping for, is just ...so not puro it hurts.

 

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