Best Bathroom to Sneak into as a Non-customer During Fiesta

Staff Pick

Starbucks
Multiple locations, starbucks.com

We’re going to break our own rule here and nominate a non-local business as the best place to sneak into as a non-customer during Fiesta. For one, locally owned businesses downtown have it tough as it is without your cheap, stanky asses fouling up their joints. For two, Starbucks is known as the haven for weenie bladders worldwide, because the bigwigs realize that once one has relieved oneself, a venti iced sugar-free hazelnut latte suddenly sounds much more appealing. And for three, there’s plenty of Starbucks downtown alone: one by River Center Mall, one on St. Mary’s and Houston and one on McCullough and Quincy. Just remember, while it’s corporate policy to give furtive whizzers a pass, employees themselves may be less understanding. Since they’re the ones watching the Sbux thrones, make nice and be respectful if they ask you to take your pee-pee dance somewhere else.

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