by Dan Savage
DEAR READERS: I’m on vacation for three weeks — but you won’t be reading old columns in my absence, and you won’t be reading columns by anyone who isn’t Dan Savage. You’ll be reading new columns, all of them written by Dan Savage, none of them written by me.
Our second guest Dan Savage is 32 years old, single, and living in London. Dan Savage got his professional start working in promotions at the legendary London nightclub G-A-Y. He’s now 10 years into a career in theater arts marketing and currently works for some of the West End’s biggest hit musicals. Dan has never written a sex-advice column before, but he occasionally gets angry tweets that were meant for me.
A quick word about qualifications: Advice is defined as “an opinion about what could or should be done.” We’re all entitled to our opinions — but only Dan Savage, theatrical marketing exec, is entitled to share his opinions in my column this week. Take it away, Dan!
Q: I am a 65-year-old male new to gay relationships. I placed a listing on SilverDaddies and have had a LOT of responses from great young guys. I have met only one guy so far. He is 23 and says he has had only a few girlfriends and has not had any gay experiences. He is so passionate. Very oral. Long kissing sessions, and he puts his tongue EVERYWHERE. Very submissive and insatiable. Of course I use condoms. I asked him what he gets out of this. He said he gets an intensity he can’t explain over pleasing an older man that he doesn’t get from sex with a female. Being a sub makes him rock hard, and with a woman, he has to be the performer. He considers himself straight, since he is attracted only to older men and is only a bottom. In any case, he will be back at grad school soon, and I will no doubt have another partner. I have never had an STD. I don’t want to get one now. I talked to a clinic over the phone about getting the HPV vaccine, and they thought it was funny and would not do it. I will be seeing young guys who are sexually active, so I think I should be able to get this vaccine. I do not want cold sores or warts or whatever at my age. — This Old Pop
I think it’s great — if you don’t mind me saying — that in your advanced years you are able to embark on this new sexual adventure and experimentation, TOP! And you have a hot 23-year-old visiting you for regular sex — something a lot of people much younger than you would kill for!
As long as you are safe and wear a condom, you shouldn’t put too much stress on yourself regarding STIs. Maybe just don’t go around picking up boys off street corners who look like they need a good wash.
My personal opinion is this guy may not be being as honest with you as you’d have hoped. A 23-year-old straight guy, in his first homosexual encounter, being “very oral” and “only a bottom” and putting “his tongue everywhere” — that sounds to me like someone who knows what they’re doing. My experience of first times is generally a quick fumble and an even quicker ejaculation.
Regardless, he is soon to leave, TOP, and you will find a new sexual partner. Advice from a YoungTOP to an OldTOP: Go with the flow and be safe, but most of all enjoy it! (And to older gay gentlemen who think you can’t get any: TOP is! You can!)