The one man Mayweather doesn't want to fight.
When Floyd Mayweather Jr. disposed of Saúl "Canelo" Álvarez last Saturday at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Machete was there, and he didn't like what he saw. That's why, during an exclusive Thursday meeting with the Current in Austin, the baddest Mexican alive sent a clear message to those who don't know Machete is still considered the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world.
Did you hear that, pretty boy? You don't fuck with the Mexicans. If you want to know what Machete can do to you, he dares you to show up at a movie theater on October 11 and watch this:
Without a doubt, this is boxing's biggest challenge since Cassius Clay called out Sonny Liston in 1964. But wait, there's more to this story. Go to the next page for more details.
Oh, forget it. You don't need to go anywhere. The "challenge" took place at a hotel room in Austin during a promotional interview for Robert Rodríguez's Machete Kills, the sequel to Machete, which premiered Thursday at Austin's Fantastic Fest. The Current saw a press screening on Wednesday, and if you thought Machete was over-the-top, wait until you see the new one: Non-stop action, more blood, more deaths, very little political commentary, Sofía Vergara shooting from her bra and crotch, Mel Gibson as the meanest of many villains, and a character played by four actors, one of which is named Lady Gaga. If Machete scared the hell out of Republicans, Machete Kills is a straight-ahead fantasy-adventure piece of Mexploitation that both sides of the aisles can enjoy. I preferred the first one, but I'd never say no to a movie where a stunning Miss San Antonio is a double agent who kicks ass big time.
Present in the room with the Current and Trejo were Rodríguez and a grown up (really grown up) Alexa Vega (Spy Kids), who in Machete Kills plays Vergara's daughter. When I mentioned to them my theory that only a man like Machete could beat Mayweather, Rodríguez smiled, Vega laughed, and Trejo was willing to do the "challenge," but later recanted.
"I couldn't do that," said Trejo, who in real life is the sweetest of sweethearts. "I don't want to make Floyd mad. I was there! I saw the fight! I'm a big fan of Floyd! Did you see the fight? Did you see what he did? It was beautiful... It was beautiful. He was unbelievable..."
"It'll be funny if you do it," said Vega.
"Just do it!" said Rodríguez. "[Mayweather] will get the joke."
So there I was, "directing" Danny Trejo in the presence of Robert Fucking Rodríguez who, to his credit, was game.
Finally, Trejo—a recovering addict who regularly counsels those still in the struggle—sent a real message to those battling alcohol, drugs and even "studying."
"It's better to shoot for the moon and miss, than aim for the gutter and make it," repeated Vega, clapping. "I like that! Wow!"
So you can relax, Floyd. Machete is a good guy who admires you. He's not going to hurt you—it was only a bad dream.