Santa Claus is comin' to town and he's trying to get his drink on.
When you're mixing cocktails for your friends and family this year, don't forget to leave one out for old St. Nick. Place it right by the plate of cookies on Christmas Eve and, if your kids insist on leaving milk for Santa, just leave him an alcoholic milk punch instead. Just kidding. Don't serve anyone milk punch this year, or any of the other cocktails on this list, for that matter. These are all super gross. You have been warned.
If you really want to flex your mixology muscles this year, try making one of these deliciously festive drinks
This cocktail looks okay until you realize it’s got leftover cranberry sauce from Thanksgiving mixed into it. Just, no. Find the recipe at My Recipes
Candy Cane Cocktail
I know it says it's got candy cane in it, but this has the exact appearance and consistency of Wite-Out. How can it taste good? Find the recipe at Food Network
Something about this cocktail seems like an accident. Maybe it's the fact that it looks like what happens when I overstuff the garbage disposal and it overflows into the sink. Also, with peppermint schnapps, Bailey's, and Kahlua, I'm not convinced the thing even tastes remotely like a cookie. Find the recipe at Mix that Drink
Pine liqueur? Thanks, but no thanks. I'd like to look at my Christmas tree, not eat it. Find the recipe at Food and Wine
What the hell is milk punch? It's like a snow cone with milk and powdered sugar? And brandy? People actually drink this? Find the recipe at My Recipes
Again with the cookies? Why are we trying to drink cookies? Just eat a ginger snap and have a normal cocktail. Find the recipe at Food Network
Pear, basil, and Sprite. Maybe I would be okay with this if it didn't have leaves in it. But probably not. Find the recipe at My Recipes
Oh yum, this one has herbs in it too. Rosemary is far too strong to just stick in a glass like that. Also, whoever thought of putting vanilla in lemonade doesn't deserve a single Christmas gift this year. That shit is nasty. Find the recipe at My Recipes
Hot Buttered Rum
Half a cup of butter goes into this drink. It's essentially a recipe for cookie dough but with a bunch of rum and boiling water in place of flour. Yuck. Plus it looks like poop, just saying. Find the recipe at Food Network
Who doesn't love a good hot toddy? This chai toddy looks safe enough. Well, except that this some graham cracker in it and the graham cracker has been crushed into powder and WHY would you want to drink graham cracker powder EVER? No, no, no. Find the recipe at Food Network