Boban's massive mitts engulfing the right hand of a reporter
In appreciation of the astounding size and dexterity of our gargantuan new center from Serbia, we have compiled a list of eats that we would love to see the Chimney of Kostolac put into his monster-sized hands and then his XL-sized mouth.
Boban is a prized addition to the team and we are super stoked to have him here. But, the proportions of his extremities just beg for adorable fruits and Thanksgiving cornucopias to be held in them. We know that this is a goofy endeavor. But until Kawhi and Boban post a patty-cake video, the Boban food blogs will never cease! Never!
Wings: Every flavor at once. It's the food equivalent of making a suicide at the soda fountain. This will be a reality on Friday, by the way.
Tots (just the one): Cah-yooooot!
McDonald's Chicken Nuggets, beak and all: Because it would take roughly thousands of the mystery meat morsels to make an impact on the digestive system of the 7-footer and therefore, not a health risk.
Bawk-bawk, chicken head
A cherry tomato: Again, supes cute.
Sunflower seeds: He could just gobble a whole David's bag of them in one gulp and then spit them everywhere, like a man does.
Single cube of tofu: When Boban wants to eat like a girl. JK, Boban hates sexism.
Cutie mandarins: These are his grapes. Orange grapes.
Bakery Lorraine Macs: Because they're cute, pastel and he could easily set a new pudgy bunny record. No doubt.
Bakery Lorraine's macarons
On the flipside:
A turkey leg: It would look like a regular-sized drumstick. Wicked.
Cured's Triple Blue Ribbon Burger: Realistically, this is probably the only type of burger Boban ever wants to eat, a proportionally compatible burger.
Big Lou's 42-inch pizza: Fold it like a taco and I bet playoff tickets Boban knocks it out in less than five bites.
Big Lou's 42-inches of deliciousness.
A Thanksgiving cornucopia: It's the whole meal in one gigantic horn-thing. Then he could pretend to play jazz on the horn-thing. Jazz is huge in Serbia. (We're guessing.)
Lulu's Chicken Fried Steak and a cinnamon roll: Lulu's is famous for the size of this southern delicacy, which is only matched by the breakfast-dessert that's ... you guessed it, bigger than your head.
A watermelon: Soak it in vodka and let it sit 'til June, y'know, after we win the finals.