Hillarita – A frosty cold concoction with a liberal helping of Dulce Vida Tequila and Paula's Orange, served frozen or on the rocks (depending on which way the wind is blowing) and delivered in a mason jar by your own private server.
The Socialist – You’ll feel the Bern with this progressive cocktail topped with a scoop of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia and served with a straw of Vermont maple syrup. It’s free, plus $9 in taxes. We'll redistribute $3 of every purchase to Kidd’s Kids.
Trumptini – A rich blend of Karlsson's Gold Vodka and vermouth dusted in gold flakes, served in a martini glass and accompanied by a gold-rimmed plate of caviar. Trust us, it's a winner. Many people have said it’s the best drink they've ever had. Absolutely no foreign ingredients.
Booz Cruz — An unabashedly conservative, Texas-sized punch born in the Canadian Rockies. Stiff as hell and doesn't pair well with anything. You’ll be carpet bombing in no time.
Marco Libre — An overly ambitious mix of Florida ruby red grapefruit juice fused with un-aged Cuban rum. Well-scripted and just as good the second, third and fourth times, it’ll make you feel young again, though a bit out of place at the big kids' table.
Kasich Kosmo – A harmless enough cocktail straight out of the Rust Belt, this nondescript blend of vodka, lime and cherry juice is a popular choice for the risk-averse. Warning: May lead to lame dad jokes.
Ben’s Brain Freeze — An intellectually stimulating yet understated cocktail featuring Plymouth Sloe Gin, hold the fizz. Order this one under your breath and prepare to melt into the background.
The Bush Bomb (#writeincandidate) – A mainstream concoction of vodka, gin, rum and triple sec that tastes like something you've had before and weren't sure you liked. Topped off with a shot of Red Bull to keep you from dozing off early.