Brunch Rules: 10 Guidelines to Abide By for a Stellar Experience

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COURTESY/BOILER HOUSE
  • Courtesy/Boiler House

Brunch is supposed to be fast and loose, but there is merit to some structure. As an avid fan who tries to make it out of the house by 10ish so as to avoid the onslaught of still-drunk brunchers, I tend to stick with a certain set of rules that allow for optimal good times. Remember, these is for your own good. 

1. Make reservations: 
San Anto, it's time we all get with the program. Long gone are the days when we could roll outta bed and stroll into a delicious brunch. If reservations are available, do yourself and others a favor and make them. Open Table is your friend, so is not waiting an hour to get seated. 

2. Have a Snack:
Listen fam, hanger is real. And of all people, I'm one of the worst offenders. But I refuse to storm into a restaurant with a list of cantankerous demands especially if the situation could have been avoided. Don't go to a ridiculously popular spot if you're already feeling peckish. Grab a handful of nuts as you're headed out the door. You're not you when you're hungry and no one likes a bitchy guest.

3. Have fun with it:
Brunch isn't supposed to be serious. Leave your bullshit, uppity attitude at the door. Go in ready to have a great time, with or without bottomless mimosas.


COURTESY/NECTAR WINE BAR & ALE HOUSE
  • Courtesy/Nectar Wine Bar & Ale House

4. No twerking:
You know what you did.

5. Pace yourself:
Who doesn't love a bottomless mimosa option at brunch? We know you do, so we compiled a list of 12 spots with said offer. But...take it easy, will you? It's not cute. The perfect mimosa ratio is 40/60 of orange juice (or whatever juice you're pouring) and bubbles. Anything else is just a ticket to Necioville, population: you. Besides, restaurants are responsible for policing bottomless mimosas and making sure customers don't get too wasty-faced. The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission doesn't take complaints lightly, so don't ruin it for the rest of us. 

6. Be punctual: 
Fashionably late shouldn't be a thing come brunch time. If you're delaying my coddled eggs or bloody Mary, you're on my dunzo list

7. Have a solid brunch squad:
Your Sunday breakfast is only as good as the people you break waffles with. Make sure the folks that join you for brunch know they're there for a good time, a strong espresso, fluffy French toast and great conversation. 


Chorizo cheddar biscuits and fried chicken. - COURTESY/MASH'D AT THE RIM
  • Courtesy/Mash'd at the Rim
  • Chorizo cheddar biscuits and fried chicken.

8. Sit at the bar:
A no-brainer for smaller groups of diners who want to avoid the rush and command a bit more attention from their bartender/server. Mosey up to the bar (Cured's got one, Park Social is always an option, Boiler House, Feast all have bars for you to enjoy) and avoid that long wait time. 

9. Branch out: 
Brunch options are plentiful these days. You could get down with some moonshine whipped cream-topped French toast at Mash'd at the Rim, or use complimentary valet services at Rebelle to visit Stefan Bowers and co., or you can go to Nectar Wine Bar & Ale House and take down one of those ridiculous, over-the-top, lobster-tail-decked mimosas ... the point is there's no reason you shouldn't dabble in a variety of brunches. You may find a new mimosa flight to love. 

10. Don't be a dick: 
Just don't. Your server is probably as hungover as you, if not more. Industry folks are usually night owls. Help them help you and realize you're not the only table they're taking care of. 

Happy brunching. 


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