Blood on the Dance Floor
If the Blood on the Dance Floor concert took place in 2008, the age of Myspace where coon-tailed scene queens reigned supreme, Hot Topic was makin’ bank off of Invader Zim
merchandise, neon clip-in hair extensions were in high demand and owning a white belt meant something, there would’ve been more scenesters than a guesstimated headcount of about 15 black-clad, middle schoolers who squeezed into their constricting skinny jeans for the momentous occasion of meeting their idols.
Flash-forward to present day, where the scene boom of the mid to late ‘00s is dying off, maybe because the hairspray fume high’s worn off, or perhaps we all came to our senses. Granted, America still has murderers of music (fuck, just turn on the top 20 radio station) but at least millennials know better than to worship an infamous crunkcore duo.
Look at these fucking assholes.
The gruesome twosome in question consists of Dahvie Vanity and Jayy Von Monroe. They both alternate around screaming, singing and spoken word duties, while sometimes engage in duets of all of the above at the same time. They both have questionable fashion taste. They both love rape jokes. And, internet famously, 31-year-old Vanity likes ‘em young. Mr. Vanity was accused of statutory raping an underage girl in 2009
, and although he was arrested, no charges were filed against him. But she wasn’t the only accuser. There’s a lengthy Tumblr blog
dedicated to collecting accusations against Vanity. But, for some reason, his fan base of tweens hails him as some kind of crusader against bullying (he even went as far as comparing himself to Jesus Christ
in the heat of the accusations.) While you can sing/scream/mumble about anti-bullying as much as you want, BotDF will never recover from lyrics such as “My cum’s so chunky, it’s like an Oreo McFlurry” and “Bitches love my cock like Slash loves rock.”
After pouring a cup of water on a fan, which I assumed smeared her/his meticulously drawn on darker-than-my-soul kohl eyeline, Vanity said, “I love you.” But things went sour when Monroe uttered “gay.” The cherry on top of this moment was when Vanity yelled “anal” on the top of his lungs, to the adoring laughter of the pre-teen audience. Other highlights from the night included similar stage banter. Like, who could forget the time when Monroe asked Vanity “Are you a Virgin?” and to add insult, to not just any injury, but a full on 18-wheeler collision, Vanity replied “I’m far from a virgin… I’m unholy!” Oh, and “This song’s about an asshole… Jayy’s asshole!”
Although they’re still touring and trying to relive their glory days, Scene just isn’t paying the bills anymore.