Santa's Sleigh Ride Jamz Mixtape

by

ar022-tape.jpg


In an effort to prove his existence and music taste to the world, the SA Current had the privilege of the Jolly One himself sharing his high-flyin' mixtape with us. We talked to him over the phone at his house in the North Pole to explain the songs he chose and why he jams out to them on his big night out. 

Jimmy Buffett- "Margaritaville"
Flying over the great state of Florida, home of Flo Rida and Miami Vice, I always crave the tangy citrus taste of a margarita- with an extra gallon of tequila- to make the time pass by faster. Jimmy Buffett and I have a lot in common because we're both old as fuck but immortal party animals. 

Chamillionaire - "Ridin' ft. Krayzie Bone"
Speaking of margaritas, if I get too blasted, I won't be able to fly in the right direction and I might be arrested by the sky police. Wait a minute, there's no sky police, but I might run into a plane or something, so remember, don't drink and fly, kids. 

Slayer- "South of Heaven"
My favorite "Sleigher" song! Get it? This one always works on Mrs. Claus. 

Nine Inch Nails- "Closer"
Damn, this song always makes me Jolly (codeword for H-O-R-N-Y) for Mrs. Claus. Especially seeing my reindeer gettin' it on all night long, I can't help but want to fuck her like an animal.  

Cake- "The Distance"
I may seem like a slave owner and animal abuser that only works one day out of a whole year, but it ain't a piece of cake doin' what I do. The elves receive fair pay and health benefits and the reindeer only go to the glue factory when they're seniors who can't fly anymore.

Willie Nelson- "On the Road Again"
Call me old school, old fart, geezer or whatever the kids say these days, but I love me some good ol' western music. I'm hundreds of years old, what would you expect? 

Tom Petty- "Free Fallin'"
Coming from a master sleigh rider like myself, I still get really spooked out when I spiral downward onto roofs. Especially after too many margaritas...

George Thorogood & The Destroyers- "Bad to the Bone"
Those little assholes don't know what hit them when they open a big pile of steaming coal, so nicely wrapped under the tree. Do I feel bad for tricking them? Hell to the no! 

Bright Eyes- "Road to Joy"
Like my favorite song from my choice indie band suggests, drugs and my woman help keep away the loneliness. I mean, it does get awful lonesome on those cold, dark nights away from civilization and humanity. My only other companions are my elves, who are totally annoying most of the time. Sorry for being so emo, we have Krampus for that.
 



comment