Set Your Christmas Tree On Fire and Rock Out To These Metal Covers of Christmas Classics

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With Christmas being less than two weeks away, it's sort of obvious that we're in the thick of this holiday season; Christmas lights are up all over town, holiday parties in full swing and Christmas music literally everywhere you turn. Yea, especially here in San Antonio, we sort of go hard for Jesus' birthday (which actually was sometime in September and this whole thing is actually is a Druid deal but whateverrrrrrr).

If you need a break from Mariah Carey's Christmas album, here's 10 Christmas songs that'll make sure tinsel isn't the only thing metal about Christmas.


August Burns Red
"Last Christmas"

When a band has the jingle bells to go all-in and release an entire metal album dedicated to Christmas and the winter season in general, it could go one of two ways: terrible, or fucking awesome. With August Burns Red’s 2012 record Sleddin' Hill, they did the latter and absolutely destroyed it. Back in November, the band released a sort of follow up Christmas track, a breakdown-heavy rendition of “Last Christmas” and it’s nothing short of amazing.




Starkill

"All I Want for Christmas"


Pummeling like a yeti crossing a mountainside during a blizzard, Melodic death metal folk Starkill have a cover of “All I Want for Christmas” that easily incorporates the fastest double-bass kicks that we’ve ever heard in a Christmas song.




Becoming The Archetype

"O Holy Night"


There’s something a little spooky about turning 200-year-old Christmas carols into chaotic metal masterpieces. But, when it’s done really well like how the boys in Becoming The Archetype did, we honestly love it. The tune was originally written by a French poet and wine merchant Placide Cappeau and then composed by Adolphe Adam in the 1800’s, and then Becoming The Archetype just shredded it.




Rise Against

"Making Christmas"


Whoever thinks that The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween movie is wrong. DEAD WRONG. It’s a twisted Christmas story and should be celebrated with a viewing around this time of year. Punk rockers Rise Against have a thrash cover of “Making Christmas” taken from one of our favorite parts of the film. Bats can be hats, why not?




Smashing Pumpkins

"Christmastime"


Alright, alright, you got us. This is definitely not a metal song, but it is a sort of slowly and almost depressing cover of “Christmastime” by The Smashing Pumpkins. It almost sounds like it could be happy but, giving Billy Corgans history of well, um, darker lyrics, we’re having a hard time believing he’s stoked that it’s, you know, Christmas.




Korn

“Jingle Balls”


Lol, remember this CLASSIC? What’s sort of hilarius about this tune is that it’s Korn basically doing an uncharastically doom metal version of “Jingle Bells.” Jonathan Davis should do more low growling Christmas joints for sure. Enjoy.




Queen

"Thank God It’s Christmas"


OK, we knooooooow that this isn’t exactly a metal track, but it’s motherfucking Queen singing a Christmas song, and it’s only just respectful to put these boys on the list.




Twisted Sister

"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"


Arguably most hair-metal of Christmas jams of all time, Twisted Sister’s take on “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” is a classic rock tune and definitely deserves a few plays during this holiday season. Play that shit loud and chug a Lone Star, it’s Christmas y’all.


Lacuna Coil

"Naughty Christmas"


Finally! Someone addresses Krampus and writes a song about a kid being afraid of the demon monster creature coming to get them after admitting they’ve been a shitty kid all year. We're here for this track.



J.J. Hrubovcak
"Greensleeves"

This might be the heaviest rendition of "Greensleeves" that's ever been written. A few years ago Hate Eternal's bassist J.J. Hrubovcak just decided to release five brutal-as-fuck covers of Christmas songs. And while some could laugh at such a feat, if you dig really well-written metal, you're gonna freak out over this cover.


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