25 Personalities You'll Definitely See on Tinder in San Antonio 

Share on Facebook
Submit to Reddit
Dating in San Antonio is ... interesting. Just ask anyone who uses apps – like Tinder, Bumble and OkCupid – and we're sure they have plenty of stories. Whether you're a longtime swiper (left or right, that is) or are new to the online dating world, here are 25 types of people you'll see in your stack.
OF 25
The pipeline dude
He’s never in town but he still wants to message endlessly so y’all can meet when he gets back.
Photo via Instagram / murphypipelines
The ultimate Spurs fan
Most people in San Antonio are Spurs fans, but there’s always those dudes whose every picture is either at the AT&T Center or wearing a Spurs jersey/t-shirt from a tent on Military Drive.
Photo via Instagram / spurs
The one-word responder
More often than not, these ladies and gentlemen are too ugly to be that boring.
Photo via Shutterstock
The couple looking for a third
They always phrase it as just wanting to “hang out,” but they really want you to join in the bedroom (and sometimes, to be a third in every form of their relationship – it’s called a polyamorous relationship, look it up folks). Nine times out of 10 one of the partners is way out of the other’s league, and chances are you are too.
Photo via Instagram / thetriadfam
The fisherman
He won’t just have a picture of him holding a giant-ass fish, but also of his view of the water. Maybe he thinks it’s a selling point?
Photo via Flickr / App Demo
The tall dudes who’s only selling point is their height
If this all you put in your bio, we’re assuming you have no personality. And that’s totally fine for a lot of us.
Photo via Instagram / hans_the_shitposter
The world traveler
And you’ll know it because every photo is either them posing at the edge of a cliff, doing a water-related activity or in front of a famous landmark. Bonus points if they have all three.
Photo via Instagram / ksu_696
Your ex
You better swipe left, bitch.
Photo via Shutterstock
The recent transplant looking for a tour guide
Isn’t that what MeetUp is for? Take that shit somewhere else.
Photo courtesy of In Your Eyes Photography
The dog owner
Ask yourself if you would still swipe right even if they didn’t have a dog. Chances are it’s a no.
Photo via Instagram / mila___thehusky
Skip ad in
The single parent
It’s no secret that San Antonio is full of single parents. While some folks will warn said parents not to bother swiping right, a large majority are fine with the population. But what’s not fine? Plastering your kid’s face all over your Tinder profile. Yes, even if your kids are your world.
Photo via Shutterstock
The gym rat
And they always have five consecutive photos in the same exact pose of them “flexing.”
Photo via Behance / Willie Peterson
The gun fanatic
Look out for the typical look-at-me-I’m-at-a-gun-range picture, complete with the safety goggles and ear plugs.
Photo via Flickr / Paul Collins
The CashApp queens
For every girl whose bio only has her CashApp name, there’s an ugly dude who has a bio that says he doesn’t want to give you money.
Photo via Instagram / cashapp
The Snapchat/Instagram hounds
And they definitely have lots of selfies. It’s like they match just for the sake of getting more followers. Oh wait...
Photo via Shutterstock
The 420 plug
They never put a picture of themselves, just shots of the weed and cartridges. We can respect the hustle.
Photo via Instagram / kush_master___1
The self-proclaimed bad bitch
If you don’t know what we’re talking about, just go to Brass Monkey pretty much any day of the week.
Photo via Instagram / nicks_new_journey
The “I can’t show my face because my job is too important” guy
This isn’t Washington, D.C. We promise your job really isn’t that important.
Photo via Instagram / arsalanmuhammad214
The nerdy gamer
They are way too specific about their interests/games, writing chunky paragraphs like anyone on Tinder actually cares. Hopefully they meet each other and it all works out.
Photo via Flickr / Dark Dwarf
The sugar daddy/mama/baby
Sugar daddies and mommies never show their faces, and there’s a reason for that.
Photo via Flickr / Maggie
Skip ad in
The “group photos only” folks
You already know how that goes.
Photo via Instagram / shawnashleyphoto
The military personnel
Lots of them are here short-term and definitely take advantage of the fact.
Photo via Instagram / usmarinecorps
The guys who immediately want to talk on the phone
It’s 2019, we don’t do that anymore.
Photo via Flickr / Amarand Agasi
The hunter
On top of being dressed in camouflage from head to toe, these dudes/dudettes usually have a photo of them holding up the head of the animal they just shot down. Or if they’re really hardcore, they just have pictures of the bloody animals. If this is their way of saying they’ll always provide for you, you might just want to pass – unless you’re into that sort of thing.
Photo via Flickr / NYS DEC
The “Just looking for friends” liars
People say this, but they really mean they want you to hang out/go out with them and then fool around after. If you ask them what they’re looking for once y’all match, it’s highly likely they’ll tell you they really just want NSA fun.
Photo via Flickr / Hamza Butt
The pipeline dude
He’s never in town but he still wants to message endlessly so y’all can meet when he gets back.
Photo via Instagram / murphypipelines

Join the San Antonio Current Press Club

At a time when local-based reporting is critical, support from our readers is essential to our future. Join the San Antonio Current Press Club for as little as $5 a month.