Instead, we're going with CHEESE HEROIN. As reported by countless news sources, including CNN, cheese heroin is a new, super-cheap form of heroin laced with over-the-counter antihistamines. Not to make light of the 21+ deaths the drug's caused in the Dallas area ... but the idea of cheese heroin so just so ripe for haiku parody.
And so, I hand this over to our masters, Richard Dame (who I declare winner of last week's GOP debate challenge) and Chris the Haiku Bike Guy. I hope a third poet, R. Haas from Claremont California, who posted a rhyming haiku-update about Paris Hilton's jail time last week (check it out), will give our boys a little extra competition.
Chuck, our designer, suggests you use this for inspiration: