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Dear Uncle Mat


I have been searching for this answer for quite some time now. What causes the labia minora in some women to become dark brown or even black? I have heard childbirth causes that. But there are some women who have dark lips and don’t have any children. Is it the frequency of the sex that they have or is it the size of the penis that goes inside them. In other words, does a well-endowed penis cause all the discoloration? If you could help me, I thank you.

— M

Dear Friend,

I don’t know Jack or Jill about vaginas. Clearly, I passed through one at birth, but I didn’t really pay attention. I did, however, recently spend sometime on the internet doing research and asked several of my female acquaintances what they thought of your question. Disturbingly, many of them seemed a bit mystified by their vaginas, assuming a plug-and-play attitude towards their personal entertainment system. The internet was much more helpful, though I skipped the pictures and just read what I could find posted by doctors or medical reference sites.

Like penises, vaginas come in many different shapes, sizes, and colors. Good to know. The labia minora, or inside lips, can be colored a pale fleshy pink to a deep brown. Didn’t know that. There weren’t any color charts, but I suppose you might go to the local hardware store, use your imagination and pick out some paint chips. As with the penis, when a woman is sexually excited, blood flows to the genital area and can cause a deepening in color of the clitoris and labia. This would not likely cause most labia to appear black in color, but should add redness to the darker hue. An already dark-brown flesh could appear a very deep purple to black color, I suppose. It is true that childbirth can cause a darkening of the labia minora and if the original color was a dark brown, then it may appear black and will most likely remain so permanently. There was no mention of frequent sex or sex with large penises causing this type of color change. Common sense informs us that a baby is a lot — and I mean a lot — bigger than even an enormous cock.

I feel it important to include a few additional details outside of your question. An uncharacteristic and consistent purple color could be a sign of a yeast infection or similar problem. If the blackness is occurring in a spotted pattern, there could be even more serious health problems and a gynecologist should be consulted promptly. Women should familiarize themselves with their little friend. Knowing what anything looks like when it is in good running condition allows for comparison when there is an unexpected change. Make sure you are comfortable with your gynecologist and ask questions at your check ups. What does “look’s good” mean for you?

OK, back to your query. Exactly how many vaginas are you looking at and how often? Are you concerned that your partner’s blossom is darkening? Do you think she has another gardener with a bigger hoe? Or possibly you have an ungodly huge staff and fear you are permanently scarring her? Or is she a new partner with a
different-looking playground? Only she really knows (or not) about the natural color of her labia. You could ask, but I want to emphasize how dangerous this could be and that tact and phrasing are of the utmost importance. “Your labia minora sure are dark for not having any kids. Do you have sex a lot or like big dicks?” or “Wow! Your pussy sure is black, I’ve never seen one like that before!” will most likely result in your well-deserved castration. Everyone, guys and gals, want talk about their bodies to be complimentary at worst and sensual at best. Be respectful! Good communication will certainly improve the quality of the sex.

I hope this helps. Maybe some female readers will post comments or responses with more detailed and experienced information. (That’s a hint, ladies.) You might also consider speaking with your doctor at your next visit.

Much luck and fun,

Your Uncle Mat

PS. If you are out whoring around and collecting experiences like cheap Georgia O’Keeffe prints, please be careful. Wear a condom every time.

Uncle Mat answers questions about relationships, sex, pets, and art. Email him at or Your true identity is safe with him.


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