I’ve got two women in my life, one pt whether I like it or not who’s also bipolar by her own admission, and the other who I rarely see, who’s also w/ someone she’s not even interested in but hangs with him for security reasons ; (The one I’m really interested in, C. (the second of the two) came from Corpus Christi ’bout a year ago on the suggestion that the guy she’s hanging with would take care of her, yet she’s been on the street for a year now. The other woman, A., hangs with me ’cause I make things happen, but she “flies off the handle” every couple of days ;p . She’s fun to party with ’til she’s had a little too much to drink. My problem is, I’ve done everything I can think of to win the heart of C. yet she still hangs with this guy!
— Lost Angel
Dear Lost Angel,
You are not the only one lost here. I have filled in the abbreviated words to the best of my ability, and think I have your narrative straight. Texting and emoticons are seriously damaging contemporary written communication. Not your fault, but we are living in the belly of a monster my friend.
C may feel the same way about you and A that you feel about her and the other guy. It is hard to believe you have tried everything to win C’s heart when you are still keeping another woman on the side.
Your relationship with A sounds unhealthy for both of you. She needs to address her emotional and mental issues; and you are not helping her by partying with her, and you are ultimately encouraging her episodes by accepting them as a natural course within your relationship. Though the source of a dysfunction may lie in one person, it takes two people to make a dysfunctional relationship.
I am not sure that C should be the winner of “Lost Angel of Love Season Two,” either. She is living “on the streets” for more than a year now because she is hung up on the support of a man who isn’t supporting her? What is wrong with her or her situation that she can’t take herself off the streets? I am not saying that she is a bad person, but she sounds like she is the victim of her own poor decisions. My guess is that she is hauling around a few pieces of baggage.
Ask yourself what you want in a relationship with any woman. What are the core elements that you believe will fulfill your vision of a happy relationship? Is C the right woman or just a different woman? Prettier, funnier, or just not a drunken bipolar who freaks out on you every other day?
I think you might benefit from a visit to a therapist or counselor. A little professional insight into your dating life and the habits of your personal relationships might shed light on why you feel trapped with a woman you don’t want and can’t win the affections of the one you do want. It is hard to see the rut in your life when you are living in it.
Much luck and love you want,
Your Uncle Mat
I am 22. How old is too old of a man to date? I ask this because I met a really nice guy at the club last week, but he is almost 40. My friends say he is too old to date, but a few say they would sleep with him because he is hot. I think he’s handsome and sweet. What is a boy to do?
— Young and Looking For Love
Meet Chicken Hawk. Just kidding. Older guys are hot and totally datable. He’s only too old for you if he’s too old for you. None of your friends can tell you the answer to that.
Now, there are men in their 30s on up who make a hobby of sleeping with “boys” in their 20s and then moving on — the chicken hawks. And there are boys in their 20s who make a hobby of sleeping with men in their 30s on up — your Uncle Mat back in the day. Sometimes they fall in love. Have fun, be honest with him and yourself, and maybe you’ll get lucky. If not, you’ll have bagged your first DILF.
Much love and happiness,
Your Uncle Mat
Uncle Mat answers questions about relationships, sex, pets, and art. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org, myspace.com/yourunclemat, or check out the Dear Uncle Mat Page on Facebook. Your true identity is safe with him.