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Dear Uncle Mat


I am 24, and until last month had never done drugs in my life. I have always believed that life is better with a straight head. LOL, I am gay, so it isn’t that straight. I do drink, but not much, and I don’t like going to bars, either. I enjoy the movies, bowling, and just hanging out. So, anyways, last month I smoked pot with an old friend from high school and the guy I was dating. I have to admit it was a lot of fun. We watched TV and cut up, and later after my friend left, the guy and I had the best time fooling around. It seems like it was harmless and there was no hangover and nothing weird or horrible happened. I know this sounds ridiculous, but do you think it’s OK to smoke pot? It really seems as though it is as benign as alcohol, but it is still illegal. I am not some naïve little boy, but I come from a conservative background and would like your opinion. I know it is used medically in other places and is legal in other countries, but this is Texas. I am not ready to become a hippie stoner or anything, but I was thinking it would be fun to get high sometimes. If so, how does one go about finding it without getting into trouble or drama?

— Curious

Dear Curious,

Before you do anything else, I strongly suggest you watch Reefer Madness and reflect on the decisions you are making and the path you are choosing. Just kidding, though it is a fun movie.

I no longer partake in such activities, but I certainly don’t judge anyone who does and still like hanging out with folks who do. To each his own. I do have a few opinions, of course.

Smoking pot is about as harmless as alcohol, possibly less harmless depending on your viewpoint. You don’t have kids (or you didn’t mention any), so I’ll skip the lecture about no bongs in the nursery. Driving high is the same as driving drunk: very illegal, dangerous, and inconsiderate of others’ safety. Pot should be used for recreation and relaxation when appropriate (e.g. don’t show up high at your cousin’s baby shower, giggle at everyone’s gifts, drink all the mimosas, eat everyone’s cupcakes, and then proceed to talk exhaustively about your philosophical views of genetically modified baby foods and their direct relationship to the number of “reality” court shows on afternoon TV).

Pot, though it may not be as physically addictive as other substances, can still be habit-forming or problematic for some individuals — usually individuals with other substance-abuse problems or personality issues. Stick to the occasional smoke and you will be playing it safe. Besides, it is more fun when it is a special occasion or random thing, not a standard breakfast-menu item.

So I am pretty certain it is not legal for me to tell you where and how to buy pot. Ask friends whom you know also like to partake. Horses drink water and if you ask one, they are likely to know where to find a well. (Unless, of course, the horse is Mr. Ed.) Hairdressers also know this kind of stuff. Not because they all smoke pot, but because some of their clients do. Even stoners get haircuts and everyone tells their hairdresser everything. It’s like confession, but you get pretty instead of forgiven.

I will say that I believe you should buy your produce from a small local producer. There is a very messy drug war going on; one could argue that purchasing even local herbs still feeds the greater economy, but you are at least making the effort to not directly send money into the fire. It is also more sustainable and environmentally friendly.

I would recommend you end your experimentation career there. No need to try other things. While pot is arguably on stable ground with alcohol, most other substances are on the other side of the slippery slope and carry a much higher risk for the trouble and drama you have expressed the desire to avoid.

Much love and greener pastures if you want,

Your Uncle Mat

P.S. This advice is intended for adults. Readers under 18, I defer to your parents’ opinion on this subject.

Uncle Mat answers questions about relationships, sex, pets, and art. Email him at,, or check out the Dear Uncle Mat Page on Facebook. Your true identity is safe with him.

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