ARIES (March 21-April 19): The writer Oliver Burkeman has some advice that would be helpful for you Aries folks to hear right now: “When you assume your current preferences won’t alter, you’ll make bad decisions: embarking on a career or marriage, say, not with a view to its durability, but solely based on how it makes you feel now.” I am most definitely not predicting that you are about to make the kind of bad decision Burkeman refers to. I’m sure my warning here in this horoscope will derail any temptation you might have to make short-sighted moves.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I’m happy to report that help from the invisible world is available to you right now. Of course you won’t be able to use it, let alone tune in to it, if you don’t believe there is any such thing as help from the invisible world. So if you are the type of person who is very sure that reality consists of nothing more than what your senses reveal, I suggest that you temporarily suspend that belief. And if you are someone who has had direct experiences with blessings that come from the unseen realm, be aware that the imminent delivery is quite different from those you have known in the past.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In her book A Monster’s Notes, Laurie Sheck describes the nuances of the term “ghost” in the German language. A mediocre wine may be called unghostly, she says. A witty, lively person is “Rich in Ghostliness,” whereas a dull, blank type “has no ghost in him.” In this spirit, Gemini, I suspect you will have some pretty fine ghostliness working for you in the coming weeks. And there’s a good chance that part of your extra-special mojo will arise from your creative engagement with energies that resemble the more traditional definition of “ghost.”
CANCER (June 21-July 22): A one-minute video commercial for The Cosmopolitan luxury resort in Las Vegas shows an elegant woman at a sumptuous feast. She’s eagerly holding her dinner plate up to her face so she can lick it clean of its last delicious taste. The scene shifts to a well-dressed man who’s down on all fours serving as a chair for a chic woman. She applies her make-up while gazing into the shiny mirror-like surface of a high-heeled shoe. New scene: An 80-year-old woman pats the butt of a handsome young stud with whom she’s slow-dancing. At the end of the ad, a catchphrase appears: “Just the right amount of wrong.” I say, let that be your mantra in the coming week, Cancerian.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Albert Einstein published his General Theory of Relativity in 1916. It had radical implications for the field of theoretical physics, but remained an unproven concept until 1919. Then a British physicist verified its accuracy with evidence gathered during a solar eclipse. The *Times* newspaper in London announced the event with the headline “Revolution in Science: New Theory of the Universe, Newtonian Theories Overthrown.” Not wanting to be left behind, The New York Times assigned one of its own journalists to cover the revolution. Unfortunately, the person they sent was a sports reporter whose specialty was golf. His article was less than illuminating. The moral of the story, as far as you’re concerned, Leo: When big developments are underway, show up at full strength, with all your powers engaged.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Never to get lost is not to live,” writes Rebecca Solnit in her book A Field Guide to Getting Lost. In fact, she says that not knowing how to get lost is unhealthy. These are useful ideas to consider right now, Virgo. It will probably do you good to get at least semi-lost. As you wander around without a map or compass, I bet you will stumble upon important teachings. At the same time, I hope you will put some thought into how you’re going to get lost. Don’t just leave it to chance. Make sure there’s a method in your madness.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the English language, “low man on the totem pole” is an idiom that refers to a person who has the worst job or the least status. He or she is considered to be at the low end of the hierarchy. But it’s an incorrect metaphor. The creators of the original totem poles were indigenous Native American tribes of the Pacific Northwest, and for them the figure at the bottom of the pole was the most important one. I foresee the possibility of a similar situation arising in your sphere, Libra. Be alert for a misapprehension that needs to be righted. It may be the case that what’s last should actually be first. Something that has been beneath or behind “more important” matters should perhaps get higher priority.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In his book Karmic Traces, Eliot Weinberger describes the life story of naked mole rats. They’re animals that never leave their underground tunnels. Normally you Scorpios have nothing in common with them. But in the coming days, I’m hoping there will be one resemblance. According to Weinberger, the naked mole rats “change direction by somersaulting.” Metaphorically speaking, I think this would be an excellent strategy for you. There’s no need to mope cautiously as you alter your course. No need to be lackadaisical and fitful and full of doubts. Just spring into action with a cheery bounce, and move on with a renewed sense of purpose.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The famous philosopher John Searle unleashed a witty dig about the famous philosopher Jacques Derrida, saying he is “the sort of philosopher who gives bullshit a bad name.” One of your fun assignments in the coming week, Sagittarius, is to do the opposite of what Derrida’s work does. In other words, give bullshit a good name. How? Well, you could engage in creative verbal expressions that boost morale and propagate delight and lubricate worthwhile connections. Make up noble fictions that are more accurate and useful that the literal truth. Spread uplifting gossip that heals and invigorates.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “The ideal piano player is the one who wants to be the piano,” says a character in Thomas Bernhard’s novel The Loser. He continues: “I say to myself every day when I wake up, I want to be the Steinway, I want to be the Steinway itself.” Your assignment, Capricorn, is to apply this attitude to your own personal situation. In other words, merge with the tool you want to master. Immerse yourself in the skill you’re working to perfect -- disappear into it. In your imagination, become completely united with the thing or person or experience you desire.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): ”The trouble with our age is that it is all signpost and no destination,” said writer Louis Kronenberger. I’m concerned that you may have fallen under the sway of this kind of myopia, Aquarius. A steady stream of useful tips and clues has been appearing, but you’re missing some of them. Your long-range goals aren’t sufficiently clear, so you don’t always recognize the significance of new revelations. Here’s the cure: In your imagination, create a vivid picture of your next big destination.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A group of bicyclists in Southern California challenged a blogger to a race. They said they could cover the 38.4 miles from North Hollywood to Long Beach faster on their bikes than the blogger could get there by plane. As it turned out, they were right. Their trip took an hour and 34 minutes. As for the blogger, he had to drive to the airport, wait for the plane to depart, fly to a different airport, then catch a cab to the designated destination. He arrived about an hour after the cyclists. Can you guess which of those two modes of travel is the preferred metaphor for you this week, Pisces? The earthy, simple, stripped-down approach will get you where you need to go better than the big, elaborate, expensive method.