While fireworks are banned in San Antonio, unincorporated areas of Bexar County are free rein for Joe Dirt-types to shoot off their "lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das or crap flappers."
Bexar County Fire Marshal Chris Lopez says it's illegal to discharge fireworks within 600 feet of a hospital, sanitarium, veterinary hospital, church or school and within 100 feet of a gas station. Also, no shooting fireworks at or out of vehicles.
Lopez says fireworks enthusiasts should select a place without dry grass or other dead plant material and have a bucket of water or hose at the ready. And if the winds are above 10 mph, Lopez says don't shoot off fireworks.
To report unsafe or illegal use of fireworks, you can call (210) 335-FIRE (3473) through January 3.