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Music : Ram-ese Cliff Notes

The language behind the Taco Land phenomena

Ram Ayala is the progenitor of a most peculiar and highly contagious personal language. It does take a few weeks to pick up Ram-ese (or Ramism, if you prefer). As with most languages, the best way to learn is by total immersion. Just spend a few nights parked at the bar. Soon "one more time for the march of dimes" will automatically register as "play another song — we haven't hit bar time yet," and you are suddenly well on your way to fluency. Local musician and Taco Land employee Phil Luna was able to deconstruct this mysterious vernacular, and provided enough information to create a handy abridged cheat sheet for future reference.

Ram Ayala, greetings from Taco Land. (Photo by Mark Greenberg)

Ay, somebody: interjection 1. expression used to greet another 2. expression used to summon general attention 3. expression used as a greeting when you look familiar, but Ram cannot remember your name (see "what's your name")

Chupale: interjection 1. command that translates roughly to "suck on this," usually in reference to a bottle (see "kiss the baby")

Don't be a pussy: interjection 1. an open challenge to live life fully, responsibly, and without fear 2. statement of endearment, reflecting the general consensus that you are not a pussy 3. stop acting like an asshole (those dubbed pussy are invited to hit the road (see "vamos a San Antonio," or "vamos a Winners Circle"))

Don't fuck up: interjection 1. well-intended warning to practice forethought to avoid danger or harm 2. stop acting like an asshole 3. don't make me warn you again 4. be careful on the way home 5. don't scratch the eightball (see "don't be a pussy")

Feria: noun 1. moolah or 2. the fair market equivalent 3. an asset or commodity that can be converted into another commodity — specifically, beer 4. show me the money 5. show me the money, pussy

Fuck Santa Claus: interjection 1. don't be stingy 2. generosity is not just a once-a-year practice 3. buy your friend a beer, you cheap ass (see "don't be a pussy")

Horny toads: proper noun 1. Ram's poison of choice, Hornitos Tequila 2. person(s) who enjoy(s) Hornitos Tequila 3. person or persons with which Ram would like to share Hornitos Tequila

Is it on?: rhetorical interjection 1. Are we having fun yet? 2. expected reciprocal response to "don't be a pussy" (see "don't be a pussy")

It ain't that kind of club: not a rhetorical interjection 1. a reminder that Ram hears all 2. a response to a slip of the tongue (like a reference to entering through the back door of the bar), that could prove to be an embarrassing mistake

Kiss the baby: interjection 1. drink 2. drink now

OOF: interjection 1. expression of wonder 2. reaction to strong whisky or a pretty lady

Stop it, you're killing me: interjection 1. literally: "That's almost funny/well-executed, but try harder next time." 2. See "don't be a pussy," definition 3

Turn it on/turn around: interjection 1. the Taco Land "just do it" 2. no half acres allowed 3. you look bored 4. stop being a party pooper and have a good time

Vamos a San Antonio: interjection> 1. get out of San Antonio 2. get out of my bar

Vamos a Winner's Circle: interjection 1. you are a loser, so 2. get out of my bar

Von Ormy no good: 1. suggestion that you are not doing very well 2. you might as well be from Von Ormy, where apparently some of the people are "no good"

Who is this is: (see, "ay somebody")

What's your name?: rhetorical question 1. a call to stand up and proclaim your name 2. stand up and be counted 3. stand up and recite the name Ram gave you, which is rarely close to your Christian name