The smell of fresh hay pairs surprisingly well with a meaty turkey leg. Let's not forget the usual powdered sugar-laced and deep-fried funnel cakes, fried Oreos, fried Twinkies and more. Essentially, pack the Tums if you're heading to San Antonio Stock Show & Rodeo. But gluttonous fair, ideally made for sharing, extends far beyond rodeo grounds. When everything is bigger in Texas, how exactly are we supposed to stop ourselves from devouring outlandish dishes? Here's a quick rundown of our faves.
The 50/50/50 Burger • Big Bob's Burgers
Multiple locations • bigbobsburgers.com
Mathematically, this burger doesn't make sense. But once you try this delicious, ungodly concoction that combines ground bacon, black Angus chuck and pulled pork into one juicy burger, you'll understand why this is a perennial favorite at Big Bob's Burgers. Top it with cheddar for gooier results or American (the burger cheese of choice for this food writer). Make sure to prepare for meat sweats in advance.
Concha Ice Cream Sandwich • The Old Main Assoc. • 2512 N. Main Ave. • (210) 562-3440 • facebook.com/theoldmainassoc
Chef Lorenzo Morales leans heavily on his whimsical side, and that's a good thing. The menu at Old Main already includes rich chicharron fries with chorizo gravy and chicken wings slathered in hot Valentina sauce (got hot sauce in my bag ...), but he truly outdid himself with the concha ice cream sandwich. A riff on the savory counterpart that won over hundreds of San Antonians, this sweet rendition combines El Folklor Bakery's pink concha with vanilla ice cream, cinnamon whipped cream and Mexican chocolate syrup (all too reminiscent of Abuelita hot chocolate) to ridiculous results. Easily shareable, but we can't (and won't) necessarily blame you if you don't.
Big Lou's 42-inch Pizza • Big Lou's Pizza
2048 S. W. W. White Road • (210) 337-0707 • biglouspizza-satx.com
Save this one for special occasions when you can gather up at least six friends (if not more) and make the trek to Big Lou's. Since opening in 2000, the joint has received several accolades, not just for its size, but also for its spot-on flavors. The crowds grow bigger after reruns of Travel Channel's Man vs. Food's visit air. Slices are usually 18-inches long, and, really, when is the last time you can say you ate half a yard-stick worth of anything? Make sure to split the bill: A 42-inch pie will cost anywhere from $58-$88 dollars.
Monster Kong Nachos • Chacho's
Multiple locations • chachos.com
You won't have to travel to some far off island in search of these mystical nachos. But you will want to throw caution to the wind, drink way too much with friends and (safely) make your way to your nearest Chacho's. A full-size order ($21.99) of these nachos is served on what, essentially, boils down to a trough. The Monster Kong serves five to eight people and contains a bit of everything to satisfy most cravings. Start with a sturdy layer of fresh-fried tortilla chips and add sections of bean and cheese, picadillo, shredded chicken, chicken fajita and carbon beef fajita, and add queso, guacamole and sour cream. It's a greasy affair that'll stave off that hangover.
Chicken Fried Steak • Lulu's Café & Bakery
918 N. Main Ave. • (210) 222-9422 • lulusbakeryandcafe.com
A steak as big as your face, dredged, battered, deep-fried and coated in a thick white gravy just screams rodeo. Though not nearly as intimidating as a three-pound cinnamon roll for which Lulu is also known for, our last rodeo-esque menu item isn't for the faint of heart. Bonus: They're open 24 hours a day so you can satiate your craving for Texas-sized southern fare 'round the clock.