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Owner of San Antonio's Hot Joy tweets pic of robber, threatens to 'cover him in crab fat caramel'

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TWITTER / THEMONTEREYSA
  • Twitter / themontereysa

Around quitting time Monday, Hot Joy owner Chad Carey tweeted a screenshot of surveillance footage showing an unwelcome guest behind the restaurant's bar.

The San Antonio restauranteur, known for his colorful Twitter language, didn't disappoint when he called on followers to help ID the culprit, who according to the time-stamped image, broke into the eatery earlier that day.

“This bitch-made punk broke into Hot Joy, broke some shit, stole some shit, & generally ruined our afternoon,” the tweet read. “Please RT & spread the word so we can catch this dude, hold him down, cover him in crab fat caramel & give him a code red with frozen chicken wings.”

A “Code Red,” if we’re to believe the 1992 Academy Award-nominated film A Few Good Men, refers to violent extrajudicial punishment, typically given out in retribution for an unforgivable act. We're not sure we want to know how the chicken wings will come into play, but we can guess.

Sure, the idea of covering someone in crab fat caramel as a 21st century alternative to tarring-and-feathering is hysterical — and actually sounds sort of delicious. But we implore you not to go vigilante on this guy if you recognize him.

Instead, contact SAPD and let the professionals get their fingers sticky.

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