- Photo by David Fitzgerald-Web Summit via Sportsfile
- Trump campaign director Brad Parscale
But it looks like ol' Brad the Beard outdid himself this weekend, declaring at a California Republican convention that the Trump family is "a dynasty that will last for decades."
As evidence of the political clout the Trumps will wield for many years to come, Parscale cited the impressive credentials of Ivanka Trump, her husband Jared Kushner and No. 1 son Don Jr.
Of course, Ivanka is dad's favorite, which alone makes her imminently qualified her for that big, no-experience needed White House job. Her accomplishments in that role are so wide-ranging that the BBC this summer aired a report titled "What does Ivanka Trump actually do?"
And we all know what Jared does. Why, he brings peace to the Middle East while reforming government so it works more like a business while combating the opioid epidemic while reforming the criminal justice system while doing so much other shit that it's frankly been impossible to keep track. Gold star for Jared!
And who can forget Don Jr.? Over the course of Dear Old Dad's time in the White House he's managed to figure out how to grow a beard and operate the Twitter Machine — all at the same time! Don Jr. sure does love tweeting out his deepest thoughts, from ragey rage tweets just like Pop's to political insights that regularly disregard both history and how the government actually works.
Yep. Parscale's hitched his wagon to stars with real staying power.
But if this second-presidential-term thing doesn't work out, the former webslinger can always just pat himself on the back, consider it a nice run and check into the same propagandist's retirement home where former Iraqi information minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf (aka "Bagdad Bob") now resides. Surely, they'll have great war stories to swap.
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