Walker, Texas Ranger.
“If the only thing left of you was your smile and your little finger, you’d still be more of a man than anyone I’ve ever known.”
Stop. That’s it. We’re done.
Other infuriating news:
1) John Travolta says this in July’s W magazine: “I still think that if you analyze most of the school shootings, it is not gun control. It is (psychotropic) drugs at the bottom of it.”
2) OK, this is trite and totally out of my jurisdiction, but Austin City Limits has scheduled The White Stripes to perform at virtually the same time as Arcade Fire. That’s a choice no hipster should ever have to make.
Now: movies. The Current won’t be hitting stands again until July 5, so we’ve got a lot of ground to cover …
July 27 marks the debut of Live Free or Die Hard, the fourth installment of the Die Hard franchise, in which John McClane suddenly has a non-filthy mouth — because it’s PG-13, motherfuckers.
Moving right along, from ratings to Ratatouille. Disney/Pixar’s latest animated feat — starring a rodent named Remy who dreams of becoming a chef — opens June 29. We’re already tearing-up here at the Current, and, for some reason, singing that song from An American Tail. You know the one.
Evening = Vanessa Redgrave + Meryl Streep + Glenn Close+ Natasha Richardson + Toni Collette + Claire Danes. Need I say more? Well I do on page 21.
Over at the Bijou — and we’re still on Friday here, folks — French biopic La Vie en Rose opens along with charming Irish musical Once. Brian Villalobos tackles both of ’em on pages 23 and 24.
On to a new day, Tuesday, July 3: Transformers day. Michael Bay directs the Autobots and Decepticons as they bring their war to our world.
If robots in disguise aren’t your thing, the alternative is License to Wed, wherein Robin Williams plays marital counselor to engaged couple Mandy Moore and John Krasinksi. Peruse our interview with The Office star on page 22.
Nothing striking your fancy? War Made Easy (reviewed by Mr. Steve Kellman on page 22) is now available on DVD. Sean Penn narrates the doc, which is based on Norman Solomon’s book of the same title.
Keep busy till we’re back with The Beast Issue on July 5!
Local premiere dates for limited-release films are tentative and can change at the last minute. Please check your local theater listings to confirm showtimes.