San Antonio has some fantastic sex toy stores, but since we are a town that generally goes to bed early, lots of cool places were automatically disqualified from this list. My local favorite is The Love Shack (to be fair, I teach classes there, so I'm partial). So I was curious, would the late-date stores hold up to my local gold standard of clean, friendly, helpful and shame-free adults-only shopping? The only way for me to find out would be to visit them all and visit them all late at night. You know how every social group has that one ho friend? Just consider me your professional ho friend. I checked them all and I've got the scoop for you. So if you are out partaking in our San Antonio night life ... and want to spice up your post bar-hopping activities, we do have a few great stores to help you fill your goodie bag.
Adult Video Megaplex
Multiple locations • megaplexsa.com Open until 2am daily
Megaplex surprised me with some of the cool stuff they had. Their book selection was excellent, including the latest edition of Our Bodies, Our Selves? Way to be empowering! OK, I know, you aren't looking for that at midnight ... plenty of other goodies, too. Besides toys, they have a huge video selection, including a lot of cool vintage porn. There is also a great selection of sample-size bottles of different liquid enhancers if you want to grab a few things to play with. I even saw the Spanish language version of the Monogamy game there, which I didn't even know existed.
Megaplex also hosts events and has video viewing rooms. Military get 20 percent off with a valid ID, and you can get the same deal by checking in on Facebook. They also run deals during the week for men, women and couples shopping together.
2376 Austin Hwy. • (210) 653-3538 dreamersdvd.com • Open 24 hours
Dreamers looks sketch on the outside, but don't skitter away. They do have video surveillance and you will buzz for entry if you are there after midnight. I thought it was totally worth it once we got inside ... lots of cool finds.
I loved the collection of vintage Playboys for sale and got distracted by the hilarious pins, magnets and bumper stickers. I'm such an '80s kid who loves my snark! Dreamers had a huge video selection, as well, and a large stock of inexpensive panties ... perfect for wearing once and having ripped off.
Multiple locations • planetktexas.com
Open until midnight
Planet K may be better known as our local head shop chain, but they do have a nice selection of toys for naked time. Buddha bless them, we all used to go to the big K for our lube purchasing in the early '90s, back when you couldn't get anything other than standard KY at your local pharmacy or big box store. They have all your 420 supportive equipment, your "whipped cream" chargers and now even carry beer. Also — randomly cool — they have a wide selection of hot sauces that I had previously only been able to find in Austin (... and that lets you call your trip "souvenir shopping for Aunt Edna.").
If you can tolerate the heavy smell of incense in the air, you will dig this place. Do be aware that the sex toys are behind the counter so you will have to ask for help if you want to see or buy anything.
7067 San Pedro Ave. • (210) 447-7158
cindies.com • Open until 10 p.m. during the week, Midnight on Friday and Saturday.
Cindie's is heavy on the lingerie ... and that isn't a bad thing. They had super cute stuff up to a size 4X for my big-boned sisters and brothers ... because sexy comes in all shapes and sizes, am I right? Their BDSM section is off in a partially enclosed corner and within it was a TV streaming a BDSM safety video. That's such a cool bonus ... so many people have questions they are afraid to ask in regards to BDSM play.
They had a fun gag-gift section, but I was expressly forbidden from purchasing the penis slippers. I have no idea why my mate is so cruel.
Lover's Adult Accessories
4828 NW Loop 410 • (210) 509-6969
Open until 2 a.m. daily
Lover's was probably the smallest place we checked out, but it had plenty of hidden parking out back for your discretion. There are signs in the store admonishing you not to open any packages, so you have to have a pretty good idea of what you want before you buy. Like Dreamers, they had a nice selection of vintage Playboys, and a lot of DVD options (they also buy back DVDs if you want to clear out your stash). They have 10 percent off for military or if you follow the store on Twitter or like them on Facebook. Also, like Megaplex, they have special deals during the week.
I noticed that San Antonio has a deficit of late-night adult stores on the NW side, so Lover's is your closest bet if you are out by SeaWorld.
Texxx Adult Novelty and Gifts
5521 I-10 E. • (210) 662-0007
Open to 2 a.m. daily
I was surprised at how big this store was and how many high-ticket items they carried. Then I realized, it's right on the route to and from the Eagle Ford Shale, along with other common trucking routes. Texxx is in the same area as several local truck stops.
Along with the entire Bettie Page licensed collection, there was a large section of sex swings (and the contraptions to support them if you don't want to commit to mounting one to your ceiling). The DVD selection was amusingly organized by your interest type ("Fat, Short, Old" is a real category, in case you were wondering), and the butt plug selection was larger (in all possible ways) than any other I've seen in town. So there you go.