Warning: I’m about to completely geek out. Any hot chicks or people I know in real life should skip to the next review; it’s about to get embarrassing.
OMG, guys, this game is cooler than Captain Picard punching Darth Vader in the face. Realistic snow-covered planet physics and some awesome-ass, flying trilobite-looking aliens to aim your rocket launcher at. And holy MF, I haven’t mentioned the mechs yet. This game is even cooler than it sounds. And a hell of a lot cooler than I sound.
We try to put it out of our minds, but as human beings it’s our fate to live with the sad knowledge of the terrible but inevitable fact: Eventually, football season ends. Stuck between the Super Bowl and the Combine, I sometimes catch myself wondering what happened to the XFL.
Apparently the people at Midway have been thinking the same thing, because they’ve recreated the league in all its immature glory. One look at the cheerleaders uniforms or the slow-mo X-Ray cam shot accompanying injuries, and you’ll realize that Midway’s discovered the secret formula for football methadone, and the first step is hiring a programming team of ‘roid raging 14-year-olds with boners.