There are good things about San Antonio, and there are bad things about San Antonio, and everyone who lives here experiences both. We do slideshows about the good things all the time, so here are some of the most annoyingly popular and overrated things to do in the Alamo City as well.
Two-stepping at Cowboys Dancehall
Why go to Cowboys when you can go to Floore’s? Nobody likes dancing with a bunch of underage teens anyway.
Photo via Instagram / cowboysdancehallsa
Riding in a barge on the River Walk
Riding a barge on the River Walk? This may be one of the oldest tourist traps on this list. Even though they got a recent facelift, barges have been floating down the San Antonio River since the ‘60s. Hasn’t everyone done this already? We recommend either taking a stroll on the River Walk or attending one of the special (and often free) events there instead – like the seeing the Confucius Wishing Lanterns or Jazz on the River.
Photo via Instagram / goriocruises
Having anything to do with SeaWorld
It’s 2019 – can we all finally agree that SeaWorld is trash? We might all have nice memories there as naive kids, but as woke-ass adults, is it really worth your time to stand in hot, humid lines for hours to ride a mediocre roller coaster right over some captive orcas? No, it’s not. Maybe once they implement the much-talked about program that focuses more toward education and wildlife conservation than entertainment, we’ll change our minds.
Photo via Instagram / seaworldsanantoniotx
Taking a tour of the Alamo
Easy there, hoss – you might be shocked that taking a tour of the Alamo made it on the list of the most overrated things to do in San Antonio. Don’t get us wrong -– there’s nothing wrong with visiting the Alamo, or even taking a tour of it. But when you have a Ripley’s museum right across the street, this doesn’t feel like the best way to indulge yourself in Texas history.
Photo via Instagram / officialalamo
Taking a selfie at the Hays Street Bridge
EVERYONE and their mother, sister, brother, father, and both grandparents has this picture. You might even know someone who proposed here. You could even be a person who proposed here. Join the other 4,000 posts on Insta with the tag #haysstreetbridge if that’s what you want to do with your life.
Photo via Instagram / city.of.sanantoniotx
Taking all of your out-of-town visitors to Mi Tierra
Is there anything *particularly* wrong with Mi Tierra? No. You’ve got to give them credit – they are a longstanding tradition of San Antonio. The shocking thing is...there are other fabulous Mexican food restaurants in San Antonio. Some of them can even make it better than abuela – but don’t let her hear you say that. If you want to go to Mi Tierra, you’re going for the surroundings.
Photo via Instagram / mitierracafeandbakery
Dining at the Tower of the Americas
The Tower of the Americas has surprisingly lackluster reviews for what some people call a San Antonio must-do. Many reviews from various sources seem to echo similar things: the food is ok but pricey and the service is fine, but the view is spectacular! That’s what we recommend: getting some puro San Antonio cuisine somewhere else and going only for the gorgeous views.
Photo via Instagram / toweroftheamericas
Eating Mexican food anywhere that charges for chips and salsa
Some of you pay for chips and salsa and it really shows.
Photo via Instagram / lagloriapearl
Having a photoshoot somewhere trendy in Southtown
If you thought Hays Street Bridge was unoriginal, join the 10K+ posts with some sort of variation of #southtownsa. While we’re all about supporting local business, it’s a good idea to *actually* support local businesses while you’re in Southtown instead of taking a trip all the way across town just for a few cute photos.
Dining almost anywhere on the River Walk
Let’s face it: as popular as the River Walk is, it’s that way because of tourists. Articles about the River Walk are one of San Antonio’s main exports, you know. While dining and drinking somewhere on the River Walk is something that almost every San Antonian does at least once in their time here, it’s just not worth going to over and over again and paying an exorbitant amount to do so. If you’re gonna bother dining here, make sure it’s a local spot and not a cringey chain.
Photo via Instagram / sariverwalkfun
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Going to the San Antonio Aquarium
Everyone has seen some variation of this headline by now: Shark Stolen From Aquarium in Baby Stroller! Yup, that was San Antonio, which seems pretty shady given that the thief walked right out of the front doors of the aquarium after putting the horn shark into a bucket in a baby stroller. If you’ve been here, you know this place is a punchline. If you haven’t, stay away.
Photo via Google Maps
Bumming around La Cantera literally all day
Don’t get us wrong – La Cantera has become a much cooler mall now that they allow doggos. However, it’s overrated to spend literally all day there. Like, we get it, you have money.
Photo via Instagram / theshopsatlacantera
Going to NIOSA just to get drunk
What could be worse than getting drunk in 100+ degree humid weather? If you stay in one place for too long, chances are that you’ll get sweat-stuck to the person next to you. The other bummer is that you’ll see everyone that you were hoping *not* to run into.
Riding in a carriage around downtown
You might be looking at everything around you, but everyone around you is looking at you, and questioning your choices.
Photo via Instagram / bluebonnetcarriageco
Visiting the ghost tracks now that they’re levelled
As the lore goes, San Antonio’s ghost tracks were a phenomenon where a bunch of ghost kids would push your car uphill and safely off the tracks...in the same place where they were killed by a train many years ago when their bus stalled over the railroad and was hit. The lore has been debunked, but people still like to pretend. Recently, though, Union Pacific made changes to the intersection, levelling it so that the phenomenon won’t work.
Photo via Instagram / kayle_lau
Gorging yourself at Lulu’s Cafe
Gorging yourself on sweets after a tough week? Hell yes. Wasting all of that energy on a dry cinnamon roll? Not just no, but hell no. Think quality over quantity: if you’re going to stress eat, you might as well have the best sweets available to you, and those aren’t from Lulu’s. Sorry not sorry.
Photo via Instagram / dcarrillo71
Going to 13th Floor Haunted House to get scared
Getting scared is lit, so why not explore some real haunted locations in San Antonio? We’re not talking about lame ghost tours, either, but actual haunted locations. One idea is visiting the Sheraton Gunter Hotel, where a murder took place in 1965 in room 636 and was never solved.
Photo via Instagram / 13thfloorsa
Trying to spot the Spurs at their favorite hangouts
We get it – you’re a giant Spurs fan. Join the club. And although some of their favorite hangouts are public knowledge, you still shouldn’t linger at those places just hoping to meet one of your favorite players. Let them live, and enjoy the experience if you ever happen to randomly run into a Spur.
Photo by dru | photography
Floating down the Comal
Drunk people littering. Need we say more? It would be great if in 2019 we could all agree that messing with Texas is not cool. There are some things that you shouldn’t do even if you’re drunk – and this is one of them. Maybe once Texans know how to behave we can revisit this.
Photo via Instagram / vietspanic40
Taking a ghost tour of San Antonio
Learning about the spooky side of San Antonio is super cool, however, staging paranormal activity is not, which is just what you’re getting yourself into where you buy tickets to ghost tours. This city is haunted enough, so trust us, you don’t need to go on a tour where you’re paying someone to jump out at you.
Photo via Instagram / sistersgrimmtx
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Spend way too much money at the Pearl Farmers Market
If you want something particular, especially if you want something natural or specially made, then you’ve got a good chance of finding it at the Pearl Farmers Market. If you’re planning to go for your daily groceries, however, just remember that the cute baskets make it more expensive.
Photo via Instagram / pearlfarmersmarket
Driving across town for a $6 cup of coffee
There are A LOT of places in San Antonio where you can have an expensive cup of coffee. You can get some cute ‘grams while you’re there – but everyone’s seen the laurel latte art that they drizzle over everyone else’s cup, too.
Photo via Instagram / commonwealth_coffeehouse
Sweating it up in Natural Bridge Caverns
Having a teenage tour guide making close to minimum wage tell cheesy jokes about rock formations as you walk through a cavern that has taken thousands of years to form seems almost insulting to nature. Another reason not to go is that there is almost 100% humidity 100% of the time.
Photo via Instagram / naturalbridgecaverns