As if the poor aquatic mammals at SeaWorld didn’t have enough problems (see “So wrong, but thanks for all the fish,” page 9), on Saturday, they’re going to be a captive audience for a freaking Grand Funk Railroad concert. (Are you reading, Greenpeace? “We’re an American Band” alone should qualify as animal cruelty.) As humans blessed with autonomy, however, you have no excuse for such poor musical choices. See Fear Snakeface and Snowbyrd instead, for free at the Mix (2423 N. St Mary’s, myspace.com/themixnightclub), or check out the Roots of Dub with Ras Gilbert and Dub Assassin, for $2, at Pedicab (415 E. Cevallos, myspace.com/thepedicab), or Super Soul Shakedown with special guests Sexto Soul, for $5, at Sam’s Burger Joint (330 E. Grayson, samsburgerjoint.com).
If you’re one of them what makes his own music, Guitar Center is offering one unsigned band the chance to record a three-song EP with producer Mike Clink (Appetite for Destruction), and release a single featuring guitar work from Slash. Until April 30, interested musicians can upload three original songs to yournextrecord.com, where they’ll be voted on by whatever random bozos log on. And all you random bozos should log on to vote. Currently San Antonio’s King Size and Spin 66 are listed in the top bands, but they need a little more love to get the chance to play Axl for a day.
— Jeremy Martin