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Warped Tour Announces 2016 Lineup (Aggro Tweens Rejoice)


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The window of people that still hold out – reloading the Warped Tour homepage, counting down the seconds, waiting with bated breath – may be only large enough for a twee tweeter with an asymmetrical 'do frosted all the colors of the Katy Perry pastel rainbow to slip into, however the annual parking-lot-pubescent-pop-punk-pep-rally is here again!

The, like, 412th Vans Warped Tour will take place on Saturday, June 25 at the AT&T Center. Tickets are priced at $41.50 plus a $19.38 fee and can be obtained here, or at all Ticketmaster locations. Doors open at 11am, although those in the know arrive a couple hours early to apply their glitter, Urban Decay guy-liner and get at the front of the line.

It's often remarked that the tour has gradually moved away from its original "punk" roots, however, this year Warped is boasting some old mainstays (if you graduated in 2007) including Reel Big Fish, Sum 41, New Found Glory, Good Charlotte, Yellowcard, Atreyu, Every Time I Die and Less Than Jake – y'know for the old people ... over 20. The rest of the lineup reads like a list of discarded first-lines from a ninth graders poetry journal: In Hearts Wake, From Ashes To New, Assuming We Survive, Hail the Sun, With Confidence – the fragments fill the stadiums, folks. 

The full 2016 lineup - VANSWARPEDTOUR.COM
  • The full 2016 lineup

Above is the full lineup for you to mock, ridicule and chide, or, scribble onto your arms, plaster on your walls or place prominently inside of your locker, below the magnetic mirror and your PETA stickers (where my Reel Big Fish insert resided).

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