The infamous all-gender pageant hits Southtown, beckoning to fearless contestants interested in becoming King William’s next beauty queen. There’ll be bands, beer, and an endless dose of glamour — Robert Tatum designer T-shirts will be up for grabs and adult-movie goddess Ms. Paige Turner decides who gets the honor of waving to the crowd on the annual King William Fair float. $5, 10pm, Guess Factory, 533 Roosevelt, (210) 240-3325.
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