Some of you probably wonder about the Current’s criteria for awarding shows our coveted “Critic’s Pick” status. Take sometimes MC Dirt Nasty, aka Simon Rex, for example. Are we recommending him because he was formerly an MTV VJ, and, before that, an internet porno star? Of course not. Rex doesn’t get a celebrity pass for cutting a track with congenital-growth-hormone-defect phenom Andy Milonakis, nor has he titillated us into submission with “Animal Lover,” which claims he ass-rapes his dog while his cat videotapes it. No, Nasty’s getting our go-ahead for a single song — “Cracker Ass Fantastic.” The track, which details his cross-cultural difficulties in dating a Latina girl (i.e., “a gangsta bitch”) is notable for several reasons, including his attempt to rhyme “other side of town” with “South Central,” and his promise that his new girlfriend will never again eat “Doritos or frozen burritos.” Dirt Nasty clenches our recommendation, however, with the line “She thinks I’m an asshole, ’cause I can’t eat her out without using Tabasco.” It’d probably be grounds for a lawsuit to suggest showgoers load water pistols with the peppery red stuff and aim for the eyes, so we’re simply telling our readers to buy tickets, in hopes somebody else does it. $15, 7pm, Sun, May 17, the White Rabbit, 2410 N. St. Mary’s, (210) 737-2221, sawhiterabbit.com.