by SA DAILY
In the case of the Barf Raider's prophesies (all recently delivered but curiously dating back to the 1990s), I judged (given the potential for harm) it best to share this work of religio imagination with our readers. So it's your Butterball. Decide for yourself whether you feel compelled to "vacate the cities" or participate in a proposed "National March Day," as one copyrighted photocopied page included in the Magic Marker-scented envelope advocates for 8 p.m. February 21 (1996), wherein "everybody should march out their front door where nothing can fall on them and wait for half an hour. They should consider this an act of faith that a higher intelligence watches over them and wishes to walk them pass [sik] the shadow of death."
Speaking with a local attorney earlier this week, it was suggested that alien craft encircling our planet can be spotted in the shape of "cat faces" in the clouds. I can think of nothing I'd rather see in a cotton-ball sky than kitty cat faces. So I am watching. If you in the meantime happen to catch a glimpse of such an anomaly, please send me a pic (or even an illustration). You could be February's "Barf." — Greg Harman