Lunchtime Links: Swedes Develop Invisible Bike Helmet, Woman Wears Hamburger as Sandal After Sex in Waffle House Parking Lot, If Famous Paintings Were Actually About Pizza, 15 Sure-fire Ways to Get on Any Bartender's Bad Side + More

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1. Oldest Woman to Finish NYC Marathon Dies the Following Day "I always say I’m going to run until I drop,” Johnson was quoted as saying the day before the race. “I’m going to die in my tennis shoes. I just don’t know when I’m going to quit.” (Jezebel)

2.  This may be the ocean’s most horrifying monster (and you’ve probably never heard of it) "When I first learned about rhizocephalan barnacles I lost my appetite. I was taking a parasitology course, and even though I’d developed a thick skin, something about this insidious creature deeply disturbed me. Even now, the thought of one makes me shiver. I’ve never watched a movie monster, heard a fairy tale, or seen a video game with a villain more horrifying than this one. And unlike those monsters, this one is real." (Deep Sea News)

3. 39 Breathtaking Photos of North America's Most Photogenic Mayor "As we've spent the last several months covering crack-smoking Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, and the videotape in which he smokes crack, we've come to deeply appreciate one thing about him: He gives good face." (Gawker)

4. 8 Clues Your Friend is Becoming a Crazy Conspiracy Theorist "It’s happened to all of us. Some friend we had in elementary school or from an old job is all of a sudden making super weird comments on Facebook, or you’re in a bar and some random is trying to talk to you about fluoride for some reason. It’s not always immediately clear. Like, I realized one day that people saying crazy things were always following it up with “Do your own research!” and then finally discovered that it was sort of a “buzzphrase” for conspiracy theorists." (death and taxes)

5. Woman Wears Hamburger as Sandal After Sex in Waffle House Parking Lot "Scandal struck Loganville, Georgia this week when a woman caught having sex in a Waffle House parking lot attempted to wear a hamburger like a sandal." (Gawker)

6. Swedes Develop Invisible Bike Helmet "You know what kind of sucks about riding a bike? Other than all that pedaling? Bike helmets. Sure, they keep that overrated "brain" from getting splattered, but they take a lot of the open-air-joy out of things, and they're not comfortable. A pair of Swedish women have developed a remarkable solution: the invisible bike helmet." (Jalopnik)

7. Patti LaBelle Does Not Give a Fuck "Patti LaBelle was the guest on this week's episode of Oprah's Next Chapter. She regularly furrowed her brow at Oprah's questions, often answering them with a side-eye and a "What!" It was, in short, everything you'd want it to be. Moreover, it was everything, period." (Gawker)

8. If Famous Paintings Were Actually About Pizza "Art meets art." (Buzzfeed Food)

9. 33 Ridiculously Hilarious Schmidt Quotes That Will Brighten Your Day "I didn’t start watching New Girl until earlier this year. Schmidt is the character I’ve fallen unabashedly in love with. Yeah, he has his supreme douche moments (that’s what the douche jar is for!) but he’s absolutely hilarious and his comedic timing is perfect."

10. 15 sure-fire ways to get on any bartender's bad side "There are thousands of ways to get kicked out of a bar: start a fight, do some inappropriate touching, inappropriately touch someone during a fight. But there are even more ways to just get under the skin of your favorite bartender, transforming you from your favorite watering hole's Cliff Clavin to its Chuck Bukowski. Here are 15 ways to immediately get under your bartender's skin... things you should never do to the person who controls the trajectory of your life night." (Thrillist)

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