illustration by Samantha Serna
MUD BUTT was one of numerous scatological vanity plates rejected by the Department of Motor Vehicles so far this year.
If the only vulgarities you experience on your morning commute are those you shout at other motorists, thank — or blame — the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles.
During the first half of this year, the DMV rejected 2,151 vanity license plates requested by Texans that it deemed too crude, offensive or otherwise unworthy to appear on state-issued property.
In keeping with the 2020 zeitgeist, those included both "FU COVID" and "COVID69." Also among those getting the thumbs down were timeless references to body parts, sexual maneuvers and poop — "NOPENIS," "GRRINDN" and "MUD BUTT," for example.
Understandably, state rules reject any language that disparages groups based on race, gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation. Hell, to play it safe, the DMV even turns down references those groups that aren't
derogatory, according to its website
Texas also prohibits license plate letter and number combinations that could be read as vulgar (meaning they include cuss words) or indecent (meaning they refer to "a sexual act, sexual body parts, excrement, or bodily fluids or functions"). That means "IF4RTED," "WEINER" and "PHO CUE" won't fly. And we know that because all three were also among the year's rejected plates.
Interestingly, the state's rules even include a specific clarification about an oft-requested numerical combo. Explains the DMV: "'69' formats are prohibited unless used in combination with the vehicle make, for example, '69 CHEV'."
Good to know.
Also off the table are vanity plates that make any reference to drugs, gangs and illegal activities and those that disparage law enforcement, the military or public officials. Which explains why the DMV rejected "TEX 420," "1BE2LIT" and "PIGKILR."
What follows is a partial list of plates Texas has rejected since January 1. They range from those clever in a middle-school bathroom graffiti way to those that are completely horrifying and douchey. Don't say we didn't warn ya.
LO AS FK
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