COVID69, MUD BUTT and NOPENIS are among the vanity plates Texas has rejected this year

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MUD BUTT was one of numerous scatological vanity plates rejected by the Department of Motor Vehicles so far this year. - ILLUSTRATION BY SAMANTHA SERNA
  • illustration by Samantha Serna
  • MUD BUTT was one of numerous scatological vanity plates rejected by the Department of Motor Vehicles so far this year.
If the only vulgarities you experience on your morning commute are those you shout at other motorists, thank — or blame — the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles.

During the first half of this year, the DMV rejected 2,151 vanity license plates requested by Texans that it deemed too crude, offensive or otherwise unworthy to appear on state-issued property.



In keeping with the 2020 zeitgeist, those included both "FU COVID" and "COVID69." Also among those getting the thumbs down were timeless references to body parts, sexual maneuvers and poop — "NOPENIS," "GRRINDN" and "MUD BUTT," for example.

Understandably, state rules reject any language that disparages groups based on race, gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation. Hell, to play it safe, the DMV even turns down references those groups that aren't derogatory, according to its website.



Texas also prohibits license plate letter and number combinations that could be read as vulgar (meaning they include cuss words) or indecent (meaning they refer to "a sexual act, sexual body parts, excrement, or bodily fluids or functions"). That means "IF4RTED," "WEINER" and "PHO CUE" won't fly. And we know that because all three were also among the year's rejected plates.

Interestingly, the state's rules even include a specific clarification about an oft-requested numerical combo. Explains the DMV: "'69' formats are prohibited unless used in combination with the vehicle make, for example, '69 CHEV'."

Good to know.

Also off the table are vanity plates that make any reference to drugs, gangs and illegal activities and those that disparage law enforcement, the military or public officials. Which explains why the DMV rejected "TEX 420," "1BE2LIT" and "PIGKILR."

What follows is a partial list of plates Texas has rejected since January 1. They range from those clever in a middle-school bathroom graffiti way to those that are completely horrifying and douchey. Don't say we didn't warn ya. 

NOTAHOE
ZEROFK
H00K3R
FRSHASF
PULD OUT
BYBICH
COUGRB8
MOVE HOE
QPUTO
BEECH&1
BOOGR
B4DBICH
GASHOLE
LO AS FK
LTRBCHS
ZROFVKS
CNN LIES
U-TWAT
BADAS RR
BALL-HOE
BLACKAZ
A22HOL3
A55HOL3
A5SLINE
BOLLOCX
B4LLIN
BE8CH
HELLROT
TRUKOFF
FARTED
LITEAF
WEINER
TEX 420
HOES MAD
8 PENDJO
DV*SOB
BYE HO
FTXAGS
AUSTN SX
SHRT BU5
S*ITBOX
IF4RTED
WILDAF
AWWSH1T
FUKYOUU
HOEPLZ
NICE AST
SUUCK*IT
THZNUTS
8EAVER
BICHN 69
MUD BUTT
MILFHTR
4SSMAN
BISH BAD
PHUKEW2
ASSHOOL
BULSHI
SCAT*485
HENTAI&V
BIGDKN
S3X T4LK
TEN INCH
WYDBUTT
CMGTIT
SH1TBX
FAWWWWK
KILLARY
PIGKILR
HVY BSSH
MF VETTE
SEXYASS
GRRINDN
GO2HELL
ROOFIE
FU COVID
F4ST ASF
SEXNTXN
IMBLAZN
LUNGER
EZFKR
FKCOVID
HOESM4D
NEED ASS
GIGOLO1
PHRSH AF
LA MIGRA
BESHPLZ
CL3AN AF
COVID69
HELL 666
DOA9MM
DICK*PRN
WT*DR33M
CHINGNA
SUX@TOES
WTF-GTR
LOBITO
2 LITT
A THOT
BTCHWLF
FKN MOVE
H4IL*YEA
OHELL YS
STONER 1
BKDFUP
OH*POOP
SMOKEME
1BAD A5H
HAUL*ASH
APE 5HIT
FC*IT
NOPENIS
SIK AF
WYDICK
MEAT WGN
OHPUCK
AHH FUKK
JUNKYAF
F-BETO
NOWEENR
PADROTE
FKYA
NAKED 69
1HONKYY
PVT PRTS
EZ-69
S7RM2PR
BCH*LFE
B3SHPLZ
P*WGON
KSMYASS
NICEGAS
1BE2LIT
DUFUC
MFD*69
WEENIE
WTF YOLO
SIKAZFK
WETPSY
BI9WOOD
BIGBONE
RIDEME
IEATAZZ
ASSKKR1
OMW2FUH
4SSM4N
THA HO
PHO CUE
BLKFACE
5.0 BTCH
FUHH...
NO KAREN
PHUCKEM
NXT VCTM
WET YETT
F HATERS

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